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Protected: Pity for the civilian people in Mindanao
October 7th, 2008 posted by barbie under Family Life. [ Comments: none ]

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barbie has blogged 1 posts

Walking along the brighter side of life
April 28th, 2008 posted by raul agner under Family Life, Uncategorized. [ Comments: 2 ]

Where I live is only two long blocks away from the university I work in and where my daughter goes to first year secondary. In very rare instances, such as when we see that she’d be late for the school’s 6:45 flag raising or when the skies threaten a downpour, we take the pedal-powered or motorized trike. Most days though, it’s a sole-powered 200-meter walk that we do, a ready-made form of physical exercise or a coin-saving scheme or both.

The stretch of San Marcelino St. that we negotiate from Padre Faura down to Adamson University may not be a postcard-pretty promenade but we have taught ourselves to appreciate what it has by making the most out of what we see along the way. If Joey Ayala in his light and playful song “Maglakad” encourages people to refresh their minds by taking a stroll, my daughter and I try to make the walk fruitful and enjoyable instead of just doing it as a passive performance of an almost requisite act.

Since we began, we decided to look at the benefits of walking, instead of complaining about the way it exacted a toll on our shoes and legs and dwelling on its negative side. Indeed we wouldn’t be able to experience or enjoy many things if we opt to ride.
One is safety. With walking, we are perfectly in control of where we’re headed and we have a full unobstructed view of the vehicles whizzing by in the opposite direction. By their rider-unfriendly design, trikes deny their passengers these simple but convenient privileges. With a sidecar that is nearly fully wrapped in tarp, including the part where a windshield is supposed to be, you’d feel like Jun Lozada being given a scary joyride to nowhere by someone whose identity you have no inkling of.

Another is the chance to engage in fruitful conversation while walking. We literally walk the talk, stride after stride, telling stories, learning some words or expressions or making observations of people and things that we see along the way. Once she asked what the expression “looking for greener pastures” means. In simple terms, I told her that it means moving from one situation to a better one, like the walk to school every day being actually a protracted effort at moving to a better quality of life in the future especially for her.
Still another is the serendipitous discovery of lessons that people would normally ignore or dismiss as insignificant. Every day, for instance, we pass by a regular huddle of homeless denizens along the perimeter wall of the Philippine Presidents’ Line (PPL) property engaged in various domestic chores in a house that has no hope of becoming. Some are cooking a simple meal heated by bits of burning wooden scraps salvaged from everywhere. Others are sorting out trash not to be thrown away but as a stateless currency that the money changer they know best accepts and converts into pesos: the nearest scrap buyer or junk shop. One middle-aged man I saw was squatting against the cement fence contentedly puffing a cheap cigar, fully enjoying an after-meal piece of heaven in what passes for a long veranda otherwise known as a sidewalk. What’s there for us in this quotidian sight? In the cul-de-sac that we live in, that has the euphemistic name of studio-type apartment, we can call ourselves lucky. It is our family’s comfort zone, a home where we are able to bond and hug each other and carve out our cherished dreams. I therefore cringe at the thought that if we were in their place, God forbid, it would really be a horrible life. My daughter has developed a deeper appreciation of the word blessing.

Sometimes we while away the time by looking for something inspiring or amusing. Two people we always see are a married couple on a bicycle who we assume are on their way to work. With the man driving and the woman sitting sideways and cosily up his front, we conclude that they must be a sweet loving pair. They are also a lesson in punctuality because we gauge our own by where we meet them. Seeing them halfway from our starting point means we are on time; to see them just a minute after we left off means we better hurry; and if we don’t see them at all, not even a taxi ride will bail us out of tardiness. Hate late? Beat the couple, we kid ourselves.

Just like any other place, San Marcelino has its own downside. These are givens and we refuse to be discouraged. After all how can you avoid pollution, discourteous drivers, smelly beggars, impassable sidewalks and even unsightly and dilapidated old houses and buildings anyway? You can’t. They are an inextricable part of the territory. Only one’s political will to see the brighter side of the street will do the trick.

My daughter agrees that if we extend that mindset to the bigger reality called life, then we are in I guess for a rewarding journey.

raul agner has blogged 2 posts

My second’s seventh (posted at
February 4th, 2008 posted by erwinilao under Alumni Stories, Family Life. [ Comments: 2 ]

Finally I am able to sit down and relax. The last of the guests have disappeared and I am facing just a little uphill battle with cleaning. We will get there somehow, I know.

We have been planning this occasion for months. Our youngest son celebrating his 7th birthday with the grand fanfare he always dreamed of. I had to take a week-long vacation just to prepare it and so I ran errand after errand, in a seemingly endless stream of chores. I have handled marketing events most of my professional life, and so my approach to this was not different. I figured that since we do it for other people anyway, why not make this as organized as we can. So this was the event of the year for me.

It all started with finding out what theme he wanted. He is deeply into Star Wars so that’s what he chose. Invitations were sent a month ago. The party treats were bought, napkins, cups, paper plates, table covers, banners. All these had Darth Vader designs, running the black and orange color that was unmistakably Star Wars. We bought a Darth Vader costume to be worn by a friend. I also printed out a program for the show and a menu list for guests.

The venue took us three weeks to check and finally select. There were a lot of options to consider. We chose a full-sized gym with six basketball courts, and an adjoining function room with a big kitchen. We needed a lot of space for kids to run around, and we were not sure the weather would be great for an outdoor event. The place was new and clean. We had to purchase insurance coverage since it is City policy to have guests covered. Five days before the event, we had a walk-through and we covered safety regulations as well as policies. This was starting to look like the big event of the year indeed.

In one exhausting time when we were on the way shopping, the two kids were at the back of the car complaining. It was frustrating that they could not show some patience and apt appreciation of the things we are doing for them. My wife and I had to converse among ourselves and refocus. What are all these for? Why and for whom? It is easy to just get lost in the moment. Forget why and for whom you do things, specially when the things you are doing it to would not and could not appreciate what it is you do. So, we just stayed firm in the belief that things like these will make a difference in their lives, one way or another.

And so the big day came. And gone. The video’s here. The pictures. The youngest got his treat. The smile was priceless. The costs were more than expected. The turnout great. The fun was all there. The friendships renewed. The fatigue is setting now. It’s over thankfully.

Writing all these reminded me to take him a second for a little chat. Why we did it, for whom. Some lessons stay longer when you harp on it a bit, at the right time. This is one lesson I would not want him to miss.

Tags: erwin, ilao, birthday, son

erwinilao has blogged 16 posts

The way I love thee (posted at
February 4th, 2008 posted by erwinilao under Alumni Stories, Family Life. [ Comments: none ]

For most of you bored reading My stories…here’s something I picked up from one of my members…with her permission of course! I thought this would be relevant this Valentine’s Day. Having been married ten years now I have forgotten what this feels like. Reading this made me squirm in apathy…sounds all distant to me now, yet nice to recall. Enjoy.

I have never felt this way before. It’s like a new spirit has suddenly blown me away and I view everything else in clear and distinct light. My footsteps are firm and for once, I knew exactly what I wanted. All I want is you.

Each second that passes, all I could ever think about is how I would spend my time, pleasing you and making you proud of me. My heart beats like it has never done before. My lungs fill up with longing of when I might see you again. My fingers fidget and fumble, awaiting your touch.

What did you do to me? I cannot explain how irrational this feeling is. How one can feel this way. It is silly. Yet the more I think about this, the more I reason out that there is no reason for me to love you this way…and yet I do.

In the coming days I will be wearing a white dress. In the coming days I will be changing my name, giving up my very own to share yours for eternity. In due time I will be lying in bed with the man of my life. Just thinking about it gives me that creepy, lovely feeling. Is this what they say it is? I guess I am in love. I sure am in love.

Way too brave for me to use that word. I have never used it before. I daresay it might lead to pain. I know it might. But how can I detest what I feel now? If I am to suffer in due time, or if ever my feelings change, I will gladly give ten times as much, for the sake of this moment. A moment when I feel finally alive. So how can something bad come out of this? Oh how can a love be so untrue? Everything is beautiful. Everything is where they should be. Geez…how I love thee.

Tags: love, valentines

erwinilao has blogged 16 posts

Chronicles of An Appendectomy (posted at
September 30th, 2007 posted by erwinilao under Family Life, Living Overseas, Uncategorized. [ Comments: 2 ]

I had my very first surgery last Sunday, courtesy of an inflammed appendix. It started like a bloated feeling on my stomach, much more like you want to pass gas but can’t. I thought that was all there was to it, so mustering all that my manlihood can stand I held on for 12 hours, hoping that the pain will subside once I fart it out. Never in my life have I wished that hard so I can pass gas but none came.

By the early hours of Sunday morning I was in terrible pain. With my wife and the kids still asleep, I managed to get to the car and drive 1 mile to the emergency room at Kaiser. Walked in through the empty waiting room. It was a perfect time. 5am of Sunday morning and no one to compete with for medical attention. In five minutes I was checked by the admissions, interviewed by the triage nurse and was on my way to the bed. An IV line was inserted and an attending resident came about an hour after.

I felt the sensation of the pain medication they gave intravenously. Almost instantly the pain was gone and I was feeling comfortable. They still have to determine the cause of it though and was told to wait two hours for the CAT scan to be performed. They let me drink two cupsful of something that tasted like lemonade. I wanted to sleep since I was tired and groggy. I texted my wife to tell her that I am scheduled for a CAT scan within two hours. Oh yeah, and that I was in the emergency room having driven by myself without their knowledge, so that I do not die in pain. It was something like that.

Minutes after she was calling me back. Since the signal was terrible I just asked her to text whatever message she has. I wanted to sleep and it would rob me sometime if I go on explaining what was happening to me. Not that I know what was happening already. It’s futile as far as I can see. If I have bothered them with the pain, would they be of any help? Or would the serious and overly concern that I am bound to receive just be a cause of further agitation I would not want. Face your battles, minimize casualties and stand like a man. That’s why I did not want to inform them.

The two hours waiting for the CAT scan was Godsent. I was able to sleep well and get my thoughts straightened out. I texted my boss of what was happening to me. He has to find me a replacement for work. He wished me well. Somehow I was uncertain of what might become of me but I was not terrified since I knew that I am in the hospital and receiving proper attention. A staff nurse came by explaining to me what is supposed to happen. She asked a whole history of my medical condition. No. I am not allergic. No. I have never been like that. First time. Yes. Wait let me think. No. I guess.. Just how many people pay attention to their medical history when they are healthy is beyond me. I mean, I do not know who in my family got this and that. Only now that I am being asked do I ask myself back. Did mom have diabetes? Do we have a history of allergy to medications? Well, I got through the quiz and was being asked now if I have an Advanced Medical Directive. (Well if you do not know what that is, go to ). I said yes, well, of course. I am the founder of a fabulous website that is the only one to feature such thing. The nurse just looked at me and asked me to sign the papers in her hand. And oh, she added that they usually ask for the patient to shell out the co-payment before surgery and that was two hundred dollars, but she could wait till after, just for me. Oh geeze, lesson learned, do not forget your wallet stuffed with cash, when you go to the emergency room. I just said “bill me later”. I guess that would guarantee a better service huh? They have to make sure I come out of this alive.

Okay so we went through the scan. The iodine solution used to detect any blockage in my anatomy shot through my veins up to the tip of my tongue like warm milk. I was laying flat on my side as the machine moved forward and backward, arching over my whole body. A male voice which sounded like an elevator operator said “breathe” and “hold your breath”, as I moved forward and backward through the machine. It was over in five minutes and was wheeled back to my station. 

The CAT scan results showed that my gall bladder was ok but my appendix was inflammed. I need surgery right away. I asked if I could get something non-invasive. The doctor said no and that it is a simple surgery and would be over in less than an hour. I could go home within the day. Well, I wanted to go home..but what are the other options? Just ignore it and wait till it ruptures and kills you. Ok well said, let’s do the operation now then, doc. They let me wait four hours for it. A surgeon checked on me. A young Chinese looking 30-ish something. Female. Took a look at my spread eagled legs and checked ME out. Normal procedure mind you. They have seen thousands they do not know the difference. She pointed where they are going to insert a camera to do the laparoscopy. A semi invasive surgery that would take out my appendix without cutting me. Less time spent on the hospital, less pain and faster recovery. She was saying straight out that I would be ok and that this is simple and that I would be able to go home. What am I supposed to decide on anyway? They had me on “Let it rupture and kill you.” So the nice doctor left to get her team ready for my first operation. 

A team of five. Introduced themselves one by one. Made me feel at ease. Nice knowing their names since the would operate on me anyway. They took turns looking at ME. No judgements there, I suppose. Normal procedure. The have seen thousands like this they don’t know the difference. Somebody said “shave”…a little poking..did i hear someone say “this looks huge”?..oh I was just dreaming. I passed out completely. 

A tug on my shoulder woke me up. I am alive. It has been two hours since the operation and all they want me to do now is pee and go home. Wow that simple. I tried to focus on where I was. The recovery room. I was alone with two staff nurses I have not seen previously. The male nurse gave me a plastic bottle. Relax and try to pee. Ok that would be easy. I stood up. Held the bottle and waited. Nothing came out. One more time. Nothing happened. Did they screw this up? Might have nipped the wrong thing and cut off my penis.  Is there a hole there still where my pee can come out? I was now writhing in pain, much more painful than I previously felt. My bladder was bursting and putting pressure on my newly operated insides. Stop this please! I swear I won’t hold off peeing anymore, just let this pass. They must have given something to sedate me for the terrible pain eased a little and I passed out again. 

The tingle was still there when I woke up. It felt like there were salt crystals blocking the base of my manlihood and it is rendering him useless. To say that it is useless is an understatement. But it more than actually is. The nurse said that it is normal. Yeah I heard that before. The effects of the narcotics is slowing or impeding my urinary functions. I have to drink a lot of water and let it pass out. But through where? They waited an hour more to see if I could pee by myself. No success. No choice either, but to insert a catheter and let it go through a urine bag. That’s the only way to get the pressure out. So they had me on my back again, spread eagled, again, and poking again. A shot of pain ripped through my “other” head as the tube went in and pee passed out. 400 ccs of waste went out my system and instantly relieved my bladder.

And then they made a mistake. They took out the catheter expecting everything to be normal after sending me home. Or were they just cutting cost? I wonder. 

After six hours post-operative care at home, I was shaking once more because I could not void. (void is a medical term for peeing). I asked my wife to bring me back to the emergency room after consulting with a stand by nurse on the phone. The trip to the emergency room was an excruciating experience. Every little bump on the road leads to an indescribable pressure up my groin and would make me shake all over. By the time I got through admissions and triage, the nurses know exactly what was wrong. My blood pressure was 165 over 100 and I was convulsing. A little interview about what I have gone through the past 24 hours gave them the idea that they have to stick in the catheter again to decompress the bladder. After probing and checking for other wounds that might have been the source of the pain, they had me on foley. I am able to breathe once more. God. People do not have the slightest idea how lucky they are to be able to pee normally. With a newfound sense of appreciation for my thingy, I comfortably got out of the emergency room without a wheelchair and headed straight home, a urine bag strapped to my legs from where a tube leads all the way to my penis. Poetic. The feeling of being able to breathe normally, much more appreciated. Every gasp of air counts. No pressure on the bladder. Don’t care about the bag strapped to my right leg. I am normal as far I know. 

My kids asked me a lot of questions when I got home. It was Monday morning and my wife had to juggle between what the kids and I need. When they got through showers and dressing up and breakfast and packed lunches, finally she was able to focus on me. I could tell how this was affecting her. She managed to do what needs to be done. A little after we talked about why I did not tell her I was going to the E.R. and why I did not wake her up when I was in pain. Same rationale. Fight your battles. Minimize the conflict and stand like a man. She won’t get it. Just dropped the subject off after promising not to do it again. When the kids came back from school they were sympathetic. My eldest was asking if I had a good day resting. My youngest stepped on my bag and sent shivers up my tubehead. I could use some more rest.

I wish the story ends here. I have been going back and forth emptying the bag since I first started to write. But there is one final chapter in this chronicle of an appendectomy.

I was scheduled for a urology visit come Tuesday at 1130am. Time to say goodbye to my beloved catheter. The nurse had me void 400 ccs of the 300 she put in me just to see if I could go on without any tube. It was a success. Finally, I am free. No bags, tubes or pressure. Went home and celebrated with a meal and a steady stream of iced tea lemonade. Went to bed. Turned on the DVR. Relaxed at last. Then it started again. A little sting at the base of my penis. Rushed to the bathroom. Come on. I did this once. Pee.. For heaven’s sake…

A little after 4pm Tueday, an ambulance parked two houses away. Two paramedics came out. I was stuck in the toilet seat. Could not move. Shaking, perspiring. I do not know how close I may have come to meeting death but I swear I nearly met mine. My wife would say, “Ow, don’t be overly dramatic, you just can’t pee!”, but I swear I would have prefered something else. 

They hauled me out in a wheelchair. A flight of chairs, and a hundred steps from the front door of my house to where they parked, each movement just killing me. Never mind my neighbors staring out of their windows. But quite a lot turned out. I was wearing only my boxers, a shirt and socks. A healthy thirty year old cussing and swearing as the paramedics slipped me into the ambulance. A sight they would not forget. 

Normal procedure. The have done this many times. For me, what turned out to be the first was to become the third trip to the emergency room. What an experience. Something every man should never have to. But might. Somehow.

I have tuned out about 2000 ml of fluid since starting this blog. Before they take this catheter out again it would be two weeks. I wonder how many more blogs I could write between now and then.

If you want to comfort me just write me a note. I have nothing to do for a week.        

Tags: erwinilao, life, health

erwinilao has blogged 16 posts

A Long Day At Play (posted at
September 17th, 2007 posted by erwinilao under Alumni Stories, Family Life. [ Comments: 1 ]

We woke up today at eight. Considering that I worked last night till 2am, it was not such a welcome treat. Reluctantly I got to the shower and prepared for church. At the back of my head I was wishing I would not go. But then again, this is the same thought every week, part of the struggles you have to win to spend time with Christ.
In the car we have to remind the kids how to behave, as we do every week. Church seems like an unwelcoming place for kids. Ironic since Christ said let the children come to me. We just dont want to disturb other churchgoers and so their behavior has to be kept in check. And with kids like mine, reminding them every time seems to be a requirement.The Gospel was about loving one another as Christ loved us. Listening to the 15 minute sermon was always a task. The priest can’t get hold of the message and drive the point to heart. The thing about love was very specific and yet very broad. It was clear and yet hard to understand. That was what I got from it. Every now and then I have to keep the boys from moving too much. Yes, I can’t wait for the service to be over. 

Got through church fine..the youngest asking whether he behaved. He wants to know if he can get a reward. We have to bribe them to keep still and just wait for church to be over. They dont know what goes on yet inside the service. For most adults I guess its’ the same, the service is over before they could get their thoughts on to praying.

Went home quick and packed stuff for the beach. It is a 90 degree weekend and a perfect time to go out and tan. Not that we need it. We have to remind ourselves we are Asians. Tediously, we have to make sure everything is set. The two are arguing again. What to wear..what to bring. Was it as complicated as this when I was a kid? Every five seconds I or my wife, have to tell either one of the boys to do this and that…and not to do this and that. They were just pretty excited with the thought of going, we guess, that they can’t keep calm.

The waves were grand as the kids ran back and forth towards it and then away from it. It was icy cold and numbing to the feet. But the sun was scorching and our backs were itchy and dry. The two were having a blast. I have to stay ten feet away in case the current drags them to open sea. A splash ripped through the clear sand and reached the two knee-deep. They hollered.

Time to eat. Wifey finished the barbeque. It was another task just to feed them. We have to remind them how lucky they are that they are not starving. I am sure by now they know what Africa represents. Next time they would be smart enough to quip back and say, “We can’t bring these food to Africa.”

Played ball afterwards. Ran again to the beach to play. The two met a burly eight year old with his mother playing tag with the waves. It wasn’t long before my wife was conversing with the other parent and I was left to watch the kids. I have the same old role, so has she. About a minute ago they were strangers and then the next they were talking about the divorce that the newcomer is undergoing. Women..they just have to open up and pour it out. My wife is a good listener. But make no mistake…she is quite a talker herself.

Getting burned up in the heat real fast, we decided to quit the beach and go to the clubhouse where we previously lived. We still have the keys to the pool. With sand on their butts the two happily recalled getting “smashed” by the waves and was looking forward to swimming decently. We enrolled them to classes and paid heavily just so they can tire themselves in the water. They love it. Another hour, and I am beat. The day is almost halfway through and I have not had a single moment to myself. There are times, for a split second, when I would wish nobody would call me or depend on me. And then reality will hit me back and keep me grounded, the list of chores and things to do glaring me at the face.

But my wife is kind enough to let me sleep after we got home. I needed that. There is only one vice I have at the moment that I cannot over indulge enough, sleep. My source of balance. The thing that restores my sanity and keeps my emotions in place. After three hours, driven by the occasional nudge I got to ask me to play with the kids, I finally dragged myself. All that time I was out, they were playing the Gamecube. An effective babysitter, it does have its’ shortcomings as a precursor to arguments and ill feelings. But I guess the reason why we let them play computer games is so we, the parents, can have time to rest. Such horrendous motives, I know, yet justified believe me. The kids were quick to shut the TV off when I said I wanted to play Monopoly. All they really want was something to do. And so they counted their cash and bought properties and built houses. I got sent to jail two times. It meant missing turns for three rounds and that gave me a chance to make my coffee. I had my coffee thanks to jail time. I have to hold myself quiet as I was almost about to say that I enjoyed my jail break. You do not know what it might mean to the kids.

Finally, dinner. Settling down nice and quite now. We decided not to have the “tabled” family dinner and instead had the “one plate for all” type. With the TV on, each one take turns scooping rice and barbeque, shoveling it to their mouths. No more cooking either..we still have leftovers from today’s picnic.

The kids tuned out at 9pm. Without an afternoon nap, they were quick to leave for dreamland. But after all that play, it will be a dreamless sleep.

Tags: Life,, San, Francisco,, family,, fun,, love

erwinilao has blogged 16 posts


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  • eCe_bOsEs : bad magsabi ng pangalan boldstar_Adududu!!! baka ma-karma ka nyan...
  • boldstar.AdU : hahaha.. machong bading! ralph corsiga.. hahaha..
  • epalbusters : PANAWAGAN: wag kayo magpatulong kay jc, ano naman itutulong ng mga yan, puro blogs lang alam nyan, sa academics,wala, as in wala, nagkukunwari lang na may alam pero wala naman,
  • jctronix : @epalbuster: say what you want..manawagan ka pa..alam naman ng mga nagaavail ng tulong namin kung ano talaga ang ginagawa namin..kahit na wala naman kaming natatanggap na kung anu man..
  • jctronix : @boldstar:!
  • boldstar.AdU : bukayo.. hehehe..
  • boldstar.AdU : bukayo.. hehehe..
  • boldstar.AdU : bukayo.. hehehe..
  • epalbusters : i know u always change,ikaw yata ang makapili ng dept.wag kayo magtiwala kay jc, doble-kara yan,kung saan may pakinabang, dun yan, great pretender
  • boldstar.AdU : away na to. hahaha..
  • jctronix : @epalbuster: i dont know kung paano mo nasabing anay ako. as far as i can see it tumutulong lang nman kasi ako. pero kung may point ka naman I would gladly change. sabihin mo lang kung ano yung nagpa-anay sakin..thanks!
  • jctronix : si mam de ocampo prof ko ng controls pero last 2 sems na ata..parehas tayo ng exams ng finals as others noted
  • jctronix : @erebus
  • epalbusters : mag aral ka maigi erebus, dont spend your time in blogging, lalo kang babagsak your lesson well..
  • epalbusters : ingat sa paglalakad, baka madapa ka
  • epalbusters : hello erebus..tapang mo ah..tingin-tingin ka lang sa paligid mo, ikaw din..kilala ka na yata..
  • erebus : managinip ka
  • erebus : hahaha
  • erebus : hoy jc mukha mo naka enroll ka sa control

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